


Stranger Forests

by mysterytour



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dean Winchester Has Internalized Homophobia, Death, Deathfic, Fixing Heaven (Supernatural), Heaven, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 06:01:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29466921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysterytour/pseuds/mysterytour
Summary: 'Jimmy once said, it’s like being chained to a comet, and as Dean stands before Castiel’s unclothed divinity for the first time, he finally understands. He is radiant and terrible to behold: spacetime twists into ribbons around the cathedral of his form, quantum foam bubbles.'Cas and Dean reunite in the afterlife.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Kudos: 20





	Stranger Forests

‘ _You have touched my life_  
 _So that now_ _  
_ _Cathedrals of sound are singing_ _’_

—Tori Amos, Carry

‘Hello, Dean.’

Castiel comes to him in a flurry of feathers and eyes, a hand on his shoulder. Dean has to shade his eyes (soul?) from the glare of his grace. Jimmy once said, _it’s like being chained_ _to a comet,_ and as Dean stands before Castiel’s unclothed divinity for the first time, he finally understands. He is radiant and terrible to behold: spacetime twists into ribbons around the cathedral of his form, quantum foam bubbles. An age passes before it subsides enough for Dean to lower his hands. The kingdom of men reaches out into the stars, retracts, and reaches out again. Stars die. Continents drift and change beyond recognition. The heaven Dean remembers from his mortal days is but a shadow of the eternity where he has come to rest.

At last, Castiel resolves into the form once borrowed from Jimmy Novak and now seems as though it was always his. Residual rainbows spark like electricity in Dean’s vision. He cannot help but fall to his knees. At once Castiel as at his side, helping him up with a firm hand at his elbow. Dean pulls him into his arms before he can even straighten up. It’slike coming home. Castiel extends his wings around him, a feather catching on Dean’s watch. He waited too long for this. Much too long.

Dean pulls away to take it all in. He saw but a shadow of those wings when they met for the first time. They seem to exist in multiple dimensions: two great black wings refracted dozens of times through time and space. Sam probably would’ve said something nerdy like _non-euclidean_. Concern is etched upon the angelic face. ‘I didn’t expect you to come so soon.’

‘Yeah well.’ Dean shrugs his shoulders. ‘Shit happens.’ After another age, he asks, ‘Cas… how are you even here?’

Castiel’s face is graced with a smile that belongs on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. ‘You prayed, Dean. The heavens… earth, hell, even the emptiness—they rang with your intent. Such a prayer could not go unanswered.’

So the truth is laid bare, then.

They’re in a meadow hemmed by fir trees on all sides. The Impala is parked up next to a diner by the side of a road. Mountains rise up on the horizon. In life, Dean saw a thousand places like this, but this place is different, somehow. The grass more lush, the sunlight reflected on the hood more inviting. The misery of Dean’s final days is a distant memory.

Dean takes a deep breath. ‘…Is that diner the real deal?’

‘Of course, Dean, I made everything here just for you.’ The warmth in Castiel’s eyes puts a lump in his throat and robs him of his voice. In all the days of his life, Dean had a roadblock inside him, it kept him on the road and people he loved out. It was as useless to him then as it is now, so he casts it off like old pants and lets Cas lead him by the hand.

The interior of the diner is clean and cosy. An angel in a cute server’s outfit shows them to a booth in the back. Even if the place wasn’t deserted, it would have a sense of privacy. Dean sits himself down on the upholstered bench that smells like Bobby’s place, and takes a look at the menu. There are only three items: bacon cheeseburger, pecan pie and vintage whisky.

‘I hope it’s to your liking. I admit I selfishly and chose things we’d both like.’ Cas says, earnestly.

Dean clears his throat. ‘It’s fine. You know what, I’ll go for—’

The angel returns with two of everything before he has a chance to order.

‘How old is the vintage?’ He asks, as the angel sets down the glasses.

‘Three thousand years, give or take.’ The waitress says with a smile.

Dean’s eyes bulge a little.

‘Enjoy.’ The waitress leaves them with a cheesy smile.

Dean digs into the pie while Cas goes for the cheeseburger. It tastes absolutely magnificent. Dean lets the tension diffuse for a few minutes before getting into it. ‘I think we need to talk about’—Dean clears his throat—‘you know, what happened back there.’

Castiel’s face falls a little. ‘If you don’t reciprocate, I—’

‘I do, reciprocate.’ The words come so easily he does it with his mouth full. Dean stares down the pie and swallows. ‘ _Jack_ , you must know—especially in those last years—you were _everything_ to me. I should’a said it sooner.’ Dean forces himself to raise his eyes. His heart is in his mouth. ‘You changed _me_. The day you warged into Jimmy was the best damn thing that’s ever happened.’

Castiel’s face falls. ‘I destroyed Jimmy Novak’s family.’

‘A lot of people had a hand in that, but it wasn’t on you. Anyway.’ Dean carries on eating. ‘This whiskey is pretty good, you should try it.’

‘I already have…In fact I tried several thousand before settling on this particular variety.’

Dean nods. ‘That’s very… thorough. Anyway, I mean it. When the Empty took you I realised how hard I screwed up by not telling you while I had the chance.’

‘You didn’t screw up. I knew if there was a chance that you felt the same way, it wouldn’t be easy for you to tell me because your father was a homophobe.’ Castiel says, catching Dean by surprise.

‘What?’ Dean nearly chokes on his pie. ‘No. _No_ way. He didn’t have a problem with people being, you know…’

‘But he had a problem with you.’

Dean clenches his jaw.

‘John Winchester was a flawed man.’

‘He really was…’ Dean pauses as he collects thoughts he has never put into words. ‘There was this place in Miami… it was… I dunno, I felt right, but…’ Dean shrugs.

‘Your oppressive upbringing made it difficult for you to see yourself as part of the LGBT community, indeed you were not endowed with adequate vocabulary to describe yourself.’ Castiel observed. ‘You’re bisexual.’

Dean splutters. ‘Dude, will you let me say it myself?’

‘Sorry.’

‘Right.’ Dean loosens his shouldered and cracks his knuckles. ‘Okay…I’m into women, like _really_ into women. _A_ _nd dudes_. And celestial beings, I guess.’ Castiel’s expression is unchanged. ‘In short, I’m bi as hell. Man, I wish I’d said that to somebody while I was still kickin’.’ Dean laughs as he clear his plate. ‘But it sure feels good to say it now.’

The waitress/angel appears at their side, as if on queue. ‘Is there anything I can get you two? Something that isn’t on the menu?’

‘No thanks… Actually, you know what, you can skedaddle—I’ve got everything I need right here.’ The waitress/angel wishes them a pleasant eternity and vanishes in a flash of light. Dean turns back to his long time friend. ‘I’d like to spend it with you… if you’ll have me.’

The Chevy Impala is waiting faithfully for them outside. Heat rises from the tarmac, momentarily whipped away in a breeze. Inside, he finds relics of good times gone by: toy soldiers, favourite candy bars, Bobby’s favourite umbrella. In the glove compartment, he finds a new treasure: a mixtape labelled in Castiel’s hand writing. Cas slips into the passenger seat as Dean turns it over in his hands. ‘This for me?’ Cas nods.

‘I hope it’s to your liking.’ Even now he’s painfully earnest.

‘Led Zep, ZZ Top, Kansas, Warlock…’ Dean squints at an unfamiliar name.

‘A rock band of the late 23rd Century AD. I thought you might like them.’

‘There’s only one way to find out.’ Dean slips the key into the ignition. Immediately, the Impala jumps to life, engining purring as though she is made anew. He slots the tape into the tape player and turns up the volume. ‘Seriously, Cas, it’s perfect. Everything’s perfect… but I need to take this slow. As discussed, I had a pretty repressive upbringing.’

‘It’s alright, my love, we have all the time in the universe.’ Castiel’s eyes full of warmth. Dean finally has the courage to lean over the gearstick and kiss him, long and slow. The sun swells. Earth crumbles.

Dean pulls onto the tarmac and eases his foot down. The windows, already rolled down, hammer his face with theheady, summer air. Fir trees, gas stations, motels, memories from life scroll by in an endless stream. There are other things, too: stranger forests, floating citadels, some places like fairytales and others like science fiction. _Carry on Wayward_ _Son_ plays over the radio. The peace inside Dean’s heart tells him that Sam and his kids and his kids’ kids are all going to be okay, and Cas is beside him, fingers curled around his own. The road goes on forever.

It’s okay. It’s all going to be okay.


End file.
